If you read very many of my blog posts, you may or may not know that I am a homebody. I stay home all the time, everyday...my only trips out are when someone is with me, or my weekly trip to the grocery store/walmart.
Going anywhere consists of not only prepping myself, but the girls as well: I have to make sure my hair (and sometimes makeup) is decent. Make sure I am cleanly dressed (no spit up, no food, no "fill-in-the-blank"). Diaper bag - 2 sets of extra clothes (for both girls), diapers/pullups/undies, wipes, toys, books, snacks, drinks (for both girls), baby food/spoon/bib, my wallet and keys! Make sure both the girls are dressed - shirt, jacket, pants, socks, shoes, clean face, hair brushed. Make sure Destin & I both go potty (and Arwen has a clean diaper). All of this takes about twenty or more minutes before hand (even with preparing the night before).
Today was no different - we were going to the DMV to get new tags for the Jeep and then the library to complete our RAFT program (where you get a free book) and story time for toddlers.
When we arrive load everything up in the stroller or carry it..well at the DMV, I just had all my stuff in a separate bag - so I grabbed the bag, Arwen (in her car seat) and Destin. It started out okay for the first ten minutes, Destin was happy reading her old library books, and entertaining Arwen. Then she saw the claw machine, and started to run around, dance by me...which later moved to the entire room (AHH!). She wouldn't stay with me..and I just knew that nothing good would happen at the library - but we went anyways.
BIG MISTAKE! When we got to the library I decided to carry Arwen without the car seat, since the stupid stroller wouldn't unlock; the bag of books/wallet/etc. and hold Destin's hand. We did good getting in...I returned our old books, and finished our RAFT program (which seemed to be taking forever...) all the while Destin is running up and down the aisles of books, acting like a crazy toddler! AFTER we got our free book, we went to story time where there were about 5 other children her age (a few younger and a few older). Arwen sat up on her blanket, played with her toys and listened the stories/music. Destin sat with me about 1/3 of the time listening and dancing, and the other parts running around the small sectioned area - not listening, doing whatever she felt like doing.
Which really made me realize we need to start practicing story time/circle time at home - she needs the practice of sitting still, listening, learning and more...and what better way to teach her letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc.? I hope to make a schedule in the next week for her & I to follow - maybe that will help in some other areas too!
I know her Parents as Teachers lady said that we could make our books about behavior (not hitting, talking badly, running away) and even sleeping (how its healthy, she is safe, nothing to be scared of, etc.)...I hope to do this in the next week too!
So...back to our chaotic adventure. After story time, she would not stay with me and continued to run away as she always does. I told her we had to go home (without checking out new books), we walk to the car..and I hit the unlock button (but I guess not hard enough); so I hit it again, and by that time Destin ran off in the parking lot where incoming cars could possibly hit her. AHHHHHHHHHH! Keep in mind I have the bag, and Arwen in one hand too. So I run after her, grab her - all the while she is laughing, smiling and not having a care in the world for what she is doing. She could have got hit by a car...or maybe even something worse!
I grabbed her, and put both the girls in the car. I was so angry, upset, scared, sad - all at the same time...
Its times like this when I realize, this is why we don't go anywhere by ourselves (just me & the girls)..I cannot handle it. Maybe if Arwen would have been in the stroller or car seat - but not with both of them. I just don't know what to do...should I not go anywhere anymore? Or do I need to do practice runs with Destin - as soon as she starts to run off, pick her up and leave/stop whatever/wherever we are doing (a recc. from the PAT lady).
By the time we get ready, get there and are in place of where we need to be - I hate to just pick and leave. But maybe that is what I will have to do...Destin has to understand that its not okay to run off. Its not okay to do whatever she wants - whenever she wants. She is not a teenager - she is 2 years old! She has to listen to me and her daddy - for her health, safety, and respect of herself/others.
Just like learning how to ride a bike or how to walk, my toddler is going to have to learn to behave...to stay with me, to not run away, to sleep in her own bed, to not hit, to follow directions, to not slam doors, to not play in the dogs food, to listen to a story at story time, and to understand that sometimes you don't always get what you want...
For the past few months, more than ever, Destin throws the biggest fits/tantrums and I just don't know how to handle them. I feel like I need help...not advice, not a book, but actual help. The PAT lady mentioned the Love & Logic classes coming up in April - but I know I won't be able to go. They are every Tuesday for about a month during the time the girls get ready to take a bath and go to bed.
I feel like I need to stop everything I am doing and start training my child non-stop how to act like a well-behaved little girl. Please tell me I am not the only one. Please someone tell me that it will get better. That this stressful time will only get better, not worse. Is anyone out there listening? Is anyone out there reading this? Give me strength!