Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Short changing

This past week I took the girls to Paradise Park in Lee's Summit ( ) courtesy of Lee's Summit's Parents as Teachers. It was free day to play basically. Well, while I was there I ran into a mom of two little girls who was pregnant the same time I was with Arwen. Our daughters played together at the Dr's office during our prenatal visits :)

As Destin and her older daughter were making thier healthy snack of apples and marshmallows - the mom told me that sometimes she felt like she was "short changing" her daughter and her son. And without really thinking about it, I agreed that I felt that way too. Sometimes I feel guilty because I am spending so much time with Destin, instead of Arwen; or with Arwen instead of Destin. I have to split my time to play, laugh, feed, read and snuggle with both of my girls. While I was pregnant with Arwen, I cried so many times when Destin would smile, play, snuggle & fall asleep thinking...this will be her last time that she has without a sibling...when she once was an only child and didn't have to share her time with someone else. Now she is a big sister, but she still gets plenty of snuggles, play time and love from both me & Patrick.

As a mommy of two under two, I know that there are days that will be harder than others...and I knew that it would be this way from the get go. I love being a mom to both of my girls...and I know that they will someday both be thankful for having a sibling. I always wanted to have a sibling close in age (my half brother is 15 years younger than me) & I know that someday they will be bestfriends, playmates & sisters for life :)

In the future, when we decide to have more children - I don't want to think of myself as "short changing" my babies, but sharing my love with all of them. Sharing my time, my heart, my everything with each and every one of them...after all, that is what a parent must do. So, now that I think about it I don't think I am short changing my daughters, I am simply sharing myself with both of them.

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